Where the Boys Are

I've had a love/hate relationship with Miami since 1997 when I was employed there for one rocky year. I had an amazing time... some of the time. Day-to-day life was a trial. It took four hours to open a checking account. My cell phone worked at the intersections of Lincoln & Collins, and Alton & 63rd. There was no such thing as service. Wait, that's unfair. There was service alright: glacial. God help you if you intended a quick bite before a movie, or thought you could duck out at lunchtime and pick up the dry cleaning. But oh, the coral white beaches! The cerulean water of Biscayne Bay! The nightlife! To friends back home, I described the clubbing as "hot and cold running [heavily edited]." I was out six nights out of seven, stumbling into my bed around 4 or 5 in the morning and coaching masters rowing by 6:30AM. Oh, to be young again. By the time I left, exhausted, all I could say about Miami is that it's a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Still, returning - even now - is a homecoming of sorts.

Like always, I stayed with old friends Gregg & Jimmy, two perfect hosts and great chums from back in the day. Jimmy has retired since my last stay, so he kept me on the golf course and in pool halls as much as possible, but I did manage a couple of workouts at the gym with Gregg to maintain my girlish figure. Neither Gregg nor Jim are slouches in the kitchen, but they do like to show off their town, and so we ate out several times during my visit. Of course we hit Kingdom for their phenomenal burgers. It's a ritual I adhere to, and as always, I stumbled walked away fat & happy, and one night, drunk off my ass after the owner spied my university shirt. All the men in his family had attended my institution, and in a show of solidarity, there was never an empty beer bottle in front of me for very long. I should have paced myself.

Biscayne Boulevard had another new dining entry for review, Balans. It's a London-based chain with three restaurants now in the U.S., all in the greater Miami area. They serve a sort of World Café mix of dishes, not at all cohesive, but all competently prepared. The dining space is very open and very chic in that Miami sort of way. Think CB2 with an Indonesian bent and more expensive materials. The best thing about the restaurant was the staff. A warm greeting and lighting fast seating by the hostess, and a confident, personable waiter who remembered drink orders and possessed an encyclopedic knowledge of sports, of all things. They could have served an old boot and I would have left impressed.

The food was tasty if not particularly memorable, the one stand out being the black bean soup. An interesting blend of mild and hot spices, smooth consistency with the liquid and beans cooked to perfection. I could have had that with a bit of melon on the side as a palate cleanser for a satisfying meal.

Balans, Biscayne 6789 Biscayne Boulevard Miami, FL  33138 (305) 534 9191

Not everything was merely adequate this time around. One rainy day, we headed up to Aventura to see Inception (hated it!!!). Beforehand, we did our best imitation of Ladies Who Lunch at Café Bistro in Nordstrom. I know, who knew?!?!? Personal pizzas with thin crust. A turkey club with fresh herbs and whole turkey breast meat, not sliced processed crap. We should have eaten afterward to get the bad taste of that horrible movie out of our mouths.

Cafe Bistro at Nordstrom Aventura Aventura Mall 19507 Biscayne Boulevard Aventura, FL 33180 (305) 937-7267

On my last weekend, I convinced Gregg and Jim to head to South Beach to one of my all time favorite out door stands, La Sandwicherie. I discovered LS during my time as director of one of the rowing clubs in Miami. When I became the freshmen coach at one of the NYC universities, I would treat a few kids to lunch there daily during our winter training camps on Indian Creek. It was a hit with everyone with whom I ever shared it. The joint is about as wide as a broom closet and just a little longer than your average hallway, but the friendly French staff churns out the most amazing and delicious treats you'll ever eat. Pâté-filled baguettes, a Salade Niçoise authentic right down to the tiny bitter green olives. Their cornichons rival those found in little Provençale market stalls, and you'll want to savor the espresso coffee all afternoon. Bits of Spanish, French, German, Italian and even English make perfect eavesdropping entertainment as everyone stands or sits on barstools munching away on these marvelous creations. For me, no trip to Miami is ever complete without at least one stop at La Sandwicherie.

La Sandwicherie 229 14th Street Miami Beach, FL 33139 (305) 532-8934

As luck would have it (or not), Mac's Club Deuce is happily located right across the street from La Sandwicherie. The Deuce Bar has been featured on Anthony Bourdain's travelogue "No Reservations", and made the cut in Playboy Magazine's 2010 Best Bars list. This is a no-nonsense dive bar at one of the major poseur intersections in the world, and if you wait long enough, just about every South Florida denizen will pass through its doors. There are the earnest daytime drinkers, political wonks, the Gay Mafia, leather-clad bikers, toothless old salts, addled tweekers, A-list pop stars. Every sub-group in human culture is democratically represented at some point during operating hours. When I was a local, I could be found there dependably at least three nights a week, pre-gaming before heading to Twist, holding court on the pool table, or ordering "one for the road" after the foam party at Salvation. I've made so many overnight best friends there, I feel I should pay a membership fee. The interior is dark & dingy and the decor a rundown Art Deco Moderne. The jukebox is epic. Some of the best graffiti ever penned stares you down from over the urinals. Two-for-one Happy Hour runs from just after sunup to sundown. You'll walk in a boy and strut out a man at Club Deuce.

Mac's Club Deuce 222 14th Street Miami Beach, FL 33139 (305) 531-6200

Thanks for taking the time - Blog O. Food

Meanwhile, in Miami's Design District...

For months folks had been telling my friend Gregg that he simply had to try this new French place just south of posh Morningside Park in Miami. He had been putting it off, but when I showed up all I had to hear was the word "bistro" and I was deaf to all other considerations. St. Francis de Sales - Patron Saint of Bloggers (well, writers and journalists, actually; there is no blogging Saint yet) - must have been interceding on my behalf as we were a party of four and I was able to convince everyone into ordering something different from the menu for reviewing purposes. This was not to be the only time our group would suffer for my "art".

Another Miami New Times "Best Of..." winner, Buena Vista Bistro opened in May of 2008 and has already built a solid reputation as an authentic French eatery with a loyal following of locals and word-of-mouth visitors. During our visit, I spied a rather shabby gentleman, glass of wine close at hand, anchored at the bar whom the owner never passed without a brief word. He was obviously a welcome regular. I could easily imagine the same scene in any village in southern France. Think Peter Mayle, and you'll get the picture.

Chef Claude Postel relies on market-fresh ingredients, so the menu changes daily. Offerings are posted on a big chalk board hung over the bar. As the night progresses, items are lined through when the kitchen runs out of an appetizer or entrée. I love that. It signals freshness to me and a serendipitous way of living. I'm not gonna read too much into that; maybe you shouldn't either!

Upon arriving, we were greeted by the sweetest little German waitress. She had only been in the States a few weeks, and immediately won our hearts. She was the picture of indulgence waiting for us to agree upon a wine. I think she surmised fairly quickly that we would be a fun group, but a handful. As she cheerfully walked away we set to a serious perusal of the menu. It wasn't much of a struggle to get everyone to order different entrées but when Gregg and Jimmy saw the escargots à la provençale appetizer, negotiations broke down quickly. Liza, our fourth, extended an olive branch by ordering the caprese salad, allowing me to try the house favorite: rillettes du mans, a sort of slow-cooked, shredded pork dish served pâté-style with cornichons, mustard and country bread.

Well, with our group, conversation and wine flowed freely. I'll admit it, I attract a crowd of "wabble wousers" who aren't particularly shy about the bottle. I espouse moderation yet despise practicing it! Besides, I hadn't seen any of these people in months, and there was some catching up to do. But we're a harmless lot and maintain a modicum of decorum when in public. Before too long, plates starting emerging from the kitchen, and what a spread. Postel, a seventh-generation chef from Paris, is well grounded in the rustic dishes of his native land. Everything is served up in a simple, no-frills, unapologetic manner, and the effect is reassuring. More impressively, the dishes shine.

Jimmy and Gregg swooned over their snails! I took a tour of the Burgundy wine region many years ago and tried escargot at the urging of my French traveling companion. I didn't know what to expect, but what I remember most from the experience now was a sense of epiphany. I didn't have to subsist on a diet of pizza and burgers. Horizons were opened up to me. After a disappointing reprise at a very expensive restaurant in San Francisco, I swore I would never order snails outside France again. I now have to eat those words. Postel serves his escargot without its shell in a herbed stock with tomato, garlic and butter. You could actually pick up the subtle earthy taste of the flesh. It wasn't masked by salt, wine or garlic. I was transported back to France and had a maddening urge to call my Franco friend. Liza's caprese had creamy mozzarella wedged between tomato slices and a pesto topping. The chef had cleverly trimmed one side of each tomato to allow the salad to stand up in its layers. My rillettes was even better than described by our little Deutche Fräulein. It was meaty & thick, and I felt as if I should be sporting a beret and espadrilles.

There is a movie included in my Food Triumvirate*: "Babette's Feast", where a destitute French chef is taken in as a housekeeper by two Danish spinsters, and in appreciation prepares a grand meal for their entire village. In one scene, the diners can be seen looking longingly between courses at the door from where the food will come. That's how we behaved after our starters. I know... right?

By our second bottle, we were speculating on the deliciousness yet to come. Jimmy, strictly a meat-n-potatoes man, chose the Bœuf bourguignon - slow-cooked for days with carrots, onions and a sinful wine reduction - served with garlic mashed potatoes. The sauce would have made a credible stand-alone soup; just add noodles or rice. The meat a tenderness only grandmothers from the Old Country know how to pull off, and the potatoes perfection; not a single lump and creamy enough to serve for dessert.

Gregg trumped me with his order: three expertly seared jumbo scallops. Sweet, tender, moist. Hyperbole has not yet invented words to justly describe Chef Postel's light hand with the sauté pan. Suffice it to say the man is a god. The gods are among us. Liza and I also opted for seafood. She wisely chose the swordfish special with an incredible raspberry sauce. More tangy than sweet, it proved the ideal partner to lead the crispy-skinned, tender piece of fish across the dance floor. My peppercorn tuna was meaty, yet moist; firm, but still flaky. It floated in a reduction so rich Buena Vista had a dental hygienist on call just in case.

What does one do after so spectacular a meal? Usually, I groan into a cup of strong black coffee and pine for my bed. But in this instance there was only one inevitability: dessert. I am not a dessert kind of guy. Even as a kid, I never had a sweet tooth. No birthday cake for me, I'll have a steak, please. Proffer me seconds and I'll push away from the table satisfied. Yet culinary probity demanded something sugary. We allowed the enthusiasm in our young German's description to sway us into having apple pie with vanilla ice cream (I wish the written word could do justice to her marvelous accent!), and profiteroles with chocolate sauce.

I swore I would never do this, but OMG! No, wait: Oh.My.God. That wasn't apple pie, it was a French apple tart with vertical rows of apples. They stood up like Napoleon's army. They were caramelized and dusted with powdered sugar. They should have come with a warning label. The noise level at our table increased as we tried to outdo each other in homage to that dish. The cream puffs were only slightly less impressing, and only because there's just something about apples & vanilla ice cream to the American palate. Yet the choux pastry was fluffy and airy. The cream filling ever so sweet. The chocolate sauce would have driven you to your knees.

I mentioned earlier the suffering of my fellow diners. How do you think I got such terrific photographs? Every time a plate came out, I forced everyone to wait while I lined up the perfect shot. Nibbling was prohibited and enforced under threat of bodily harm. And yet, uncomplaining, my pals endured my fastidiousness. In recompense, I picked up the tab. Worth every bite, do-over, and penny!

Buena Vista Bistro 4582 NE 2nd Avenue Miami, FL 33137 305-456-5909 Open 11am - midnight, Tuesday through Sunday; 1pm - midnight Mondays. Virtually every entrée is under $20, and there's an enviable French and American wine list.

Bon appétit - Blog O. Food

* "Like Water For Chocolate" and "Big Night" are the other two entries rounding out my ruling body of three.

For Your Consideration...

I give you the King Burger: 12 oz. of 100% USDA Prime top sirloin; toasted sesame seed bun; lettuce, tomato & red onion; additional toppings available.

I'm back from a trip to Miami, FLA (guess the musical reference) to catch up with friends, defrost my toes and play some golf. Along the way, I remembered to pack my Press pass and logged some more miles as neophyte food blogger. Only a few more posts 'til I qualify for the Williams-Sonoma oven mitts!

I can confidently report that the State of Food in south Florida has never been stronger. Restaurants continue to pop up on Biscayne Boulevard and most are showing little sign of closing up shop anytime soon. I dined at several old favorites, tried a couple of new establishments, and walked away thoroughly impressed. Merchants continue to find new niches for the dining public: an abandoned cinderblock shack transformed into a quasi-gourmet hotdog stand, a car wash coffee shop turned chic outdoor café, a new sushi and tempura restaurant re-defining fusion cuisine, and here I'm just beginning to scratch the surface.

But I have to tell you about Kingdom. Located right on Biscayne Boulevard, just south of the 79th Street Causeway, Kingdom was crowned Best Bar Food by Miami New Times. I am willing to go further by proclaiming the Kingdom burger The Best Hamburger I Have Ever Tasted. I cornered the chef one afternoon, and he couldn't wait to brag about his food. His beef is never frozen. Burger meat is ground fresh daily, produce comes in directly from farms in Immokalee, fries and onion rings are hand cut, and attention to detail is the driving philosophy. I've eaten at Kingdom several times, and in fact insist on at least one lunch there whenever in Miami. It's become something of a standing joke with my friends Gregg and Jimmy, but they like to indulge me I guess.

This last visit met every expectation. Great seats at the outside bar with sports acting as background noise on the plasma televisions and a bartender who's become a favorite for the past couple of years. He's never failed to remember me and for that, my ego is eternally grateful. He's so comfortable around us now, he shares bawdy songs from his iPod whenever he thinks he can get away with it. But let's get to the burger, shall we?

Kingdom offers three burgers: Queen Burger - 8 oz. sandwich, $8 King Burger - 12 oz. sandwich, $9 Doomsday Burger - 24 oz. sandwich, $17. There is a challenge with the Doomsday. If you can eat the entire thing in under 15 minutes, the burger is free. Should you fail however, Kingdom skins you for twenty bucks. Seems fair, but I have yet to step up to the plate. All burgers are cooked perfectly, PERFECTLY to order and for $.75 ea., you can add cheese, bacon, grilled onions and mushrooms. A basket of fries is $3, onion rings $3.50, or a mixed  basket for $4.

The meat is marbled with flavor. There's a very agreeable nuttiness to the taste. The cook adds just enough salt to accent the beef, and you never get that blandness that comes with chewing cheap cuts of meat. If you order cheese, it's not just plopped on top of the patty, but is almost fused with the meat. Chef wouldn't tell me exactly how he accomplished that without over-cooking the burger, but I one-upped him later in my interrogation.

Jimmy, Gregg and I each ordered burgers with one basket of fries and one of onion rings to share among us. Which to describe first: onions or fries. Let's start with the rings and then I'll tell you how I trumped the chef. If you check the You Gonna Finish That archives you can see a photo of a mass of dough, batter and brutally tortured onions. Not so at Kingdom. The onion rings came out looking as if they had been battered in Panko bread crumbs and a farm-fresh egg wash, and then individually fried to a Coppertone-tan golden brown. It was almost a crime to consume such flawlessness. But then what would be the point? But the fries, gentle readers, the fries! Kingdom prides itself on a strictly confidential herb and spice recipe that is tossed with piping hot potatoes right out of the fryer. The chef was struck dumb when I identified every ingredient in his "secret" seasoning. He swore me to secrecy, but here is one component that you'll be amazed to learn adds such subtle character to the rest of the spices: dried parsley flake. Who woulda thunk it, right? Well, after that, I earned a new respect from Chef in spite of my shady credentials as food blogger.

Kingdom 6708 Biscayne Boulevard, Miami, FL 33138 305-757-0074 Open daily for lunch and dinner. Beer and wine only. All major credit cards accepted. When you go, ask the bartender for his version of the classic Shandy. You will not be displeased.

Thanks for taking the time - Blog O. Food